May 31, 2010

Sad and enraged

Today I woke up and didn't want to train. I was feeling angry and extremely sad. Fortunately I decided to start jumping which seemed to calm some of the furious energy inside me. Then I just kept on training. Punching like it was for real and kicking the hell out of this situation I can't change and which I will have to live with for four more years, along with millions of compatriots. 

To let the fury break free was kind of satisfying and it would have been even better if I had a punching bag.

Then came meditation time. No calm, no peace. But then I thought: this moment is training but it's also for real. This is a situation that affects me deeply. This is me suffering and trembling so this is a great opportunity to see what meditation can do.  Those 2 or 3 minutes of concentrating on breathing in and breathing out and bringing the mind back to silence every time it escaped, were refreshing, were like a pain killer. That silence break helped me see myself being there and accepting what it is or seems to be. 

Now that I know I'm here, all I have to do is go on.

A kiss to KFB!


  1. What a frustrating situation, Lili. But what a great reflection on the power of meditation. Thanks for sharing!

  2. You did a great job with the workout despite your anger! Inspiring!